


you know who you are

by agentcalliope



Series: this will still be so [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I LOVE DAISYFITZ MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF OKAY, Male-Female Friendship, canon compliant as of 4x21, spoilers for Moana the movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 14:47:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10924017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentcalliope/pseuds/agentcalliope
Summary: He's all skin and bones and memories.Daisy wants him to remember he's more than that.(maybe she can remember, too.)





	you know who you are

**Author's Note:**

> spoilers for Moana, the Disney movie. You can read without watching it but it doesn't hurt.

He’s all skin and bones and memories.  

 

She wonders if he knows that she’s waiting for him to do something, just as he waited for her. She wonders if he knows that, this time, she’s going to stay.

Daisy blinks, bringing the steaming mug to her nose and inhaling the bittersweet scent, keeping her focus on Fitz, who refuses to meet her eyes.

 

“Come on, this is supposed to be fun.” She finally says, placing the cup back on the counter.

Fitz sighs, and ignores the hot chocolate she had made for him, massaging his left hand and looking off to the side. She wonders if he knows she can read all his signs by now, just as he can read hers.

“Daisy--”

“Oh, don’t Daisy me. The team is gone, and we have the base to ourselves.” Daisy leans back in her seat, tipping the chair back ever so slightly. “It’s just going to be like old times.”

Fitz snorts. “Likely.”

“Hey now, Leopold.” Daisy snaps forward in her seat and Fitz finally gazes at her, eyes wide. “Sure, there weren’t a lot of those ‘old times’, okay, like none. But we had our movie nights. You would make me hot chocolate, and then you would make me watch a movie.”

Daisy waves her hand over their mugs and tilts her head to the side, blinking innocently. “Thus, I have prepared you a hot chocolate, and then I will prepare a movie to watch.”

She wonders if he knows how much she wants to say him to but doesn’t know how, just as he did.

 

“Fine.” Fitz pitches forward and picks up the mug with both his hands, blowing on it bringing it to his lips. He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply before he finally takes a drink.

Daisy smiles.

“So.” Fitz swallows. “What movie do I have to watch?”

 

“I think you mean ‘what movie do _we want_ to watch?’” Daisy corrects, and then leans to the side to rummage through her bag. “One of my favorites.” She lifts the DVD into the air and shakes it.

 Fitz opens his eyes and looks at the DVD before glancing at her and narrowing his eyes.

“Three questions-- One, when did you ever have the time to watch _Moana_? Two, when did you ever have the time to watch _Moana_ and then _buy_ it on DVD? And three, when did you ever have the time to watch Moana and love it enough to say it’s one of your favorite movies?”

Daisy puts down the DVD and picks up her mug, shrugging. “You ask too many questions.”

 

“But you’re a _hacker_.” Fitz shifts in his chair, shaking his head. “You went out and bought the movie when you can just illegally download it off the Internet?”

Daisy finishes the drink. “Wouldn’t be a real movie night if I did, would it?”

“Um, yeah. It would.”

“Oh my god.” Daisy exaggerates and glares at him, snapping although she doesn’t mean it that way at all. “Just finish your hot chocolate so we can put on PJs and watch the movie.”

Fitz smirks, just a little, and takes another taste.

 

(She wonders if he knows he’s just skin and bones and memories, just as she was.

And how she’s done running, and that he shouldn’t have to.)

 

***

She manages to stay silent for the entire film, and only occasionally turned to look at him. She wasn’t lying when she said it was one of her favorites, of course. But she wanted him to watch, and she wanted to be there when he did. She’s watching him now as the credits roll, and she knows that he’s running the plot over in his mind over and over again.

“Well? What do you think?” She nudges him with her elbow softly.

 

He lifts the remote and turns off the TV, staring at the blank screen before he finally turns to face her.

“Good.”

That’s it. That’s all he says. _Good_. In that annoying Fitz voice he has when he has more to say but won’t say it. When he’s watching for another shoe to drop.

When he’s waiting for something else to happen.

God, she wants to scream.

She settles for glaring at him.

 

Fitz grunts and throws his hands in the air.

“What? What do you want me to say? That I know you chose this movie because of the whole ‘you choose what defines you’ and ‘you know who you are’ shit? That I know you wanted me to see how the earth goddess got her heart removed and became a lava demon but she didn’t need the heart returned to be good again? That even though she’s done some horrible things it doesn’t make her the monster?” Fitz stops to inhale shakily, and he begins to blink rapidly. “That I know you wanted me to know even though I’ve caused destruction, I’ve caused beauty, too. And I can choose what I do in the future.”

 

His hands begin to tremble and Daisy swiftly grasps them gently.

“Well,” Daisy says. “You put a lot more thought into it than I did, but yeah. Exactly that.”

Fitz squeezes his eyes shut, and Daisy squeezes his hands.

“I could’ve told you all of this, but you wouldn’t have listened.” She wonders if he knows that she knows because she would’ve done the same. “But you had to realize it for yourself, just like I had to.”

 

He lets go of her hands, and for a second she’s afraid he’s going to leave, and he’s going to run and run and _run,_ but instead he leans into her and she opens her arms to embrace him.

“It was _me_.” His voice hoarse and muffled against her shoulder. “I was The Doctor.”

“And this is _you_.” Daisy replies, stroking his hair. “You’re Fitz.”

“I tortured _you_. I tortured people. I killed Agnes I killed Mace I shot _Jemma,_ oh my god, I shot Jemma, and I told her that she meant nothing to me.”

“Jemma loves you.”

“Doesn’t excuse what I did.” Fitz cries. “Doesn’t excuse the pain I put her through.”

“Doesn’t excuse the pain you’ve been put through, either.”

“I’m scared.”

He’s scared of losing Jemma. Scared of losing Daisy. Scared of losing anyone and everyone that he’s ever loved, and who love him back.

 

Scared of losing himself.

(Daisy knows. Daisy understands.)

 

She pauses. “Don’t make me sing that stupid song. Because I _will_ , I will sing it. Right now.”

Fitz lets out a choked laugh, and she can feel his tears catch in her shirt. “Please don’t.”

Daisy holds him tighter.

“They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you. This is not who you are. You know who you are.”

 

He doesn’t reply, and she doesn’t press.

They stay like that until he finally heaves a sigh and wipes his eyes with the back of his hands.

She notices that they don’t tremble anymore.

“I told you not to sing it.”

 

“I didn’t sing it.” Daisy corrects. “I just said it.”

He smiles a watery smile. “We have a lot in common, don’t we, Daisy?”

“Unfortunately we do, Leopold.”

He really laughs now, a loud, boisterous laugh that no matter how hard she tries, is infectious.

She cracks a smile and leans forward, wiping away a tear that he had missed. His cheek is smooth, and as she studies his face she see’s that there are no scars.

But she’s knows that they’re there.

 

“I know that this won’t fix things, because I’m still trying to fix things myself. And I don’t know if it’ll ever be fixed, really. Maybe our scars are too deep to heal properly, but you know what? That’s okay. They don’t define me, and they don’t define you.”

Daisy inhales, and exhales. “You’re just different now, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

 

They both smile at each other, the kind of smile that if you don’t, you might cry. But the kind of smile that if you don’t you might cry means all tears, both devastated and relieved.

Fitz clears his throat and gestures to her bag.

“So, got any more movies with symbolic meanings in there?”

Daisy laughs. “Nope, that was my only one.”

“Shame.” Fitz bits his lip. “Really was looking forward to another lesson.”

“Hey, I do know a few illegal movie download sites, being a hacker and all. Got any ideas?”

She wonders if he knows that she knows that he does, actually.

 

She knows his favorite as if it was her own.

He falls asleep watching _Homeward Bound_ , and she finds that it doesn’t bother her at all. His head is on her shoulder that had dried with his tears, and occasionally he lets out a snore.

 

He’s all skin and bones and memories, but he won’t always be.

 

(and neither will she.)

**Author's Note:**

> thank you leah, my beautiful big sib, for betaing


End file.
